Hi peeps, okey its quite a long time i never been blogging with full of expressions since perhaps one year ago, as you know, i was quite busy with examinations and all that stuffs. Today, I will be blogging again as usual, haha. It was an exordium tho. Okay , We shall begin.
Life is full of tastes; sweet, bitter, salt and sour. Different people different taste of life. A few people think their life are full of sweets theres shall no taste of bitter in their life. perhaps they are wrong. Okey shall we begin how was my life,
This year 2013 was a really an arduous and tough one. To be honest, I wasnt able to endure it because it was really painful inside deep bottom of my heart. People that I used to be hang around never knew even the love ones how painful I was on these 365 days.
I started 2013 with a really bright day, Alhamdullilah, today I am alive and I am healthy. A few people manage to cherish my day and I tried my best to keep it constant ,never left them behind. It was really a glorious day for me, I was happy and I wish that today will be ever the same as the others days.
But, we as humans never escape from mistakes, because a mistake probably it will change the whole thing. I was very weak and indescribable, I felt that my legs couldnt walk any longer. I was lost hope, I though it will be my last journey, I felt a very big humongous rock heap me.
A mistake is like a humiliating all of my careers, I tried my best to achieve everything. struggling to be the best among the best. It was not easy to climb the highest the mountain.
Alhamdullilah , trusting Allah would not make the mountains smaller, but will make climbing easier, Do not ask him for a lighter load, but ask him for a stronger back. I ask Allah for forgiveness and be a strong girl facing these obstacles. I was very grateful to Him, He is the one and only reason why I am still here. Eventhough, many people tried to fall me, I will never ever give up and lost hope. Can't you just imagine, I was so pain and I couldn't share or express these to anyone, I prayed and to Allah, theres a place where can I express these feelings, It was really painful ,I felt that I wanted to tatter my heart hardly because I dont have anyone to share these things, I have friends but they won't understand instead laughing at me, nobody would understand these, I cried so hardly everynight, wondering what would happen to my life on the next day. sometimes, scared to face everything on the next day.
I wished that the world would stop for a moment and I can vanish mistakes, but aint theres no such thing exist in the world. It only does exist in fairy tale. How foolish I am, I was suffering very-very suffering and wished that I could stop school, but as soon as I thinked carefully maybe theres miracles behind these everything. It was true. Alhamdullilah, I faced them strongly, ignoring them who tried to fall me apart, I always highlated my kim hyun joong , he said : You only live once, If I fail now, I will never reach my desires. He was true.
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all, up here in the cold thin air where I finally can breathe, I know I left a life behind but I'm too relieved to grieve
I dont know why could these people really , i mean really hated and mean so much to me since the mistake appeared,
" Why you guys are so not satiesfied ? You know what these people doesnt give up falling me apart, Was it didnt enough tried to humiliate me infront of all people? Aren't you tired destroying my future? Aren't you enough to break my heart till pieces ? What do you want from me? You want to see me touched the ground? Cried till my teardrops changed into blood? What the heck do you want ?!!! Are you happy now, to see me cried blood tears, people laughing in my mind ? You can smile, laugh now but wait till I changed the world soon, because you may stressed, depressed to see me in glorious days, just wait for the day cause you may suprise and I'll have my revenge on you. Wait and see. "
because Allah accept the prayers of his servants who oppressed.
One day, I'll prove to them that I could beat them, standing higher than them, making my parents proud, show to the world who you really are, I was really determined because I know they would never ever look me down, and the didnt know who really I am yet. The show is about to begin.
I ignored people who tried to fall me, because I will never ever surrender because I know theres a good time behind the pain and sunshine behind the rain.
Alhamdullilah, with all of my point of perspiration had finally paid off. Thank you Allah for everything. MY WORDS WOULDNT BE ENOUGH. Finally, it was already proven on my graduation day. Thank you so much ya Allah, I am so grateful today and always. I was on the stage standing infront of the people, including my parents showed them that they cant let me down. It was a very remarkable day for me and for the others. I was also surprised as soon as the announced my name as a leadership figure. Ya Allah, I was very surprised and I was vague. I stand up from my seats, it felt like im the one and only in my mind and I heard the hall was full of spectators were claping their hands so loud, I just walked and saw a bright smile on my mum's face. I continued my steps stepped onto the stair and finally onto the stage, the claps were getting louder, I couldnt said anything, I was shocked. The whole audience were watching me, It was a really first time for me to recieve an award infront of the honored people and even the whole audience. My hearts beats so fast badly. Alhamdullilah, I was very grateful. I was very honoured.
This is not the ending of the story because I will end it up with more splashes of colours, I'll make it as a very meaningful life, This is the story of my life.
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